Market Lane Bar
Market Lane Bar
495 Collins Street, Melbourne
03 8627 1400
Ladies who High Tea are out and about again! This time, though, there is a twist. We visited Market Lane Bar at the Intercontinental Hotel in Collins St for a High Coffee.
What is a High Coffee? You asked. Instead of daintily sipping tea, we get a potent Espresso Martini to start off with and a coffee to finish, and in between, of course a tiffin laden with sweet and savoury goodies to indulge.
Sounds like fun, until you are met with a less than cool reception, slow service and missed components of the high tea.
Our tiffin got plonked down with a “I suggest you eat the hot food first”. No description of what’s on offer (and we didn’t get to see the menu beforehand either).
The hot food included a weird savoury muffin which tasted slightly spicy, a ham and asparagus quiche that I could make better myself and a really really nice beef & mushroom pie I could eat another five of.
The second layer includes some cold hard chicken baguette and smoked salmon bagel. There is also a hybrid cake/ bread thing with cheese (?) and intercontinental’s rooftop honey. This was quite nice and I wish they would give us more honey. That one small dollop made me sad 😦
We moved onto the sweets and some palate cleanser and freshly baked scones were dumped onto us without much fanfare or introduction.
The palate cleanser was a raspberry sorbet that has been frozen worse than Elsa’s ice castle and it took a few stabs to chip some off the cup.
The scones, one was chocolate and the other, I since realised was honey, did not need the raspberry jam as it was sweet enough. I wish the waitress had told me what I was eating so I can adjust it to my taste. I love warmed scones and I love how they made it with chocolate but it certainly wasn’t the best I have tried.
As we finished our scones our waitress said that the place is closing soon as if to hurry us up. We haven’t even started our sweet selection yet!
We quickly had a few bites of each and let’s just say it wasn’t up to scratch. The blueberry cheesecake tasted powdery and the other desserts were nothing to write home about.
At the end I thought a coffee was included but they never came to take our order. In hindsight we should probably have questioned it, but I felt so rushed.
Then when the bill came, we almost had to do a song and dance for them to get their attention to take the bill away. $55 for such terrible service and mediocre food is just a waste of my time and calories.